“Treat ’em Mean, Keep ’em Keen”

A few days ago, I was at a very lovely, very fun girls wine night with my very lovely very fun friends, so naturally, a deep conversation or two broke out. Amongst the sharing of crushes, giggling and pillow fights (naturally), my friend proposed a question. What is your daily mantra?

I took this question to mean, how do I live my life and what do I strive for on a day-to-day basis. So after sitting and thinking for a bit, listening to some of the other girl’s answers, I came to a conclusion. My life mantra, as of right now, is to show people I care about them and make sure people know that they matter.

That sounds stupidly basic, just hear me out.  In my most humble opinion, too many people abide by the, ‘play hard to get’, “treat ’em mean keep ’em keen” idea, and I just don’t see the point in it. I was talking to someone about this once, and I asked what would happen if both people played hard to get or tried to act as if they didn’t care. What purpose would that serve? Personally, and really this could just be me, I am highly emotional, I’d be really sad if someone I liked treated me like I wasn’t that important, even if they actually thought the exact opposite of that. It honestly just highly confuses me.

I tried an exercise in this a few years ago when I was coming to the end of year eleven. I decided to write letters to the people I wanted to talk to throughout the years but never got the courage to talk to. I also sent messages to people in my classes that I just thought were really cool that I never really spoke to before, and some of them have become some of my closest friends because of it.

It really upsets me that this idea would be considered pathetic or emotional, and people have told me that before. Maybe I don’t ‘play things cool’ or I come off ‘too keen’, well whoever says that can shove off. Even if there are people who think that I’ve encountered too many people that have said to me when I’ve sent them an emotional message that it made them feel really good. Naturally! It’s a shocker, I know, but it feels good to feel appreciated. So why don’t more people do it? I know I love it when people send me random messages telling me how they feel. I think it’s really exciting when people I haven’t talked to too much before send me a message and want to talk to me. It feels nice to feel special and feel remembered, everyone thinks that. But now its become a thing of coming across like a creep if you try to do anything like that. Of course, there are guides and limitations to this in which you genuinely can come across in a certain way that can make people a bit uncomfortable. But to be genuinely nice, to want to talk to people, to care. What’s creepy about that?

Why don’t people want to express emotion, why has passion become some kind of unpopular opinion? I don’t want to feel like I’ve messed up every time I message someone expressing emotion, and I don’t want to feel like I should blame it on it being passed 1 am. I’m not writing with the mindset that my words are going to inspire a generation of people to express their emotions, but I hope maybe people won’t be so hesitant to talk to others and make people feel like they matter. Maybe then there can be just that bit more love and care floating about. All I’m saying is that if you receive a spontaneous message from me at some point, don’t be surprised. Or maybe you message someone you’ve wanted to talk to. Or message me, I dare you, I promise I’ll reply.